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by By Abdulakdir Aden Mohamud “Jangeli”
Saturday, January 17, 2009
newsinsThe literature you are about to read is divided into several parts. Its contents are based on facts and fictions. The main players are Ethiopians and Somalis.
PART IV
The conflict never ended amongst the TFG since the day it was formed in Nairobi four years ago. Most of the top leaders were either newly recruited or old warlords who had been serving in the interest of Ethiopia for the last 17 years. The damage caused by these warlords in Somalia was not enough for Zenawi, so he sent his troops to destroy Mogadishu and displace as many people as possible. Now, after two years of Ethiopia's military quagmire Mr. Zenawi is trying to blame the crimes he committed in Somalia to the warlords who were serving him. For years he was drafting those who provided him the best services, while dismissing those who were no longer of any use to him.
Geesyare, Yaleh, Haarole, Dhuubow and Qaatinweyne met in Baydhabo to discuss their prospects.
Geesyare: First of all. I would like to thank you for the prompt response for this historical meeting. Secondly, I wish you Happy New Year and I hope that a year from today, our situation as leaders will be much better than where we are standing now.
Yaleh: You must be out of your mind? Do you know that our New Year is based on Al-Hijirah? Please don't imitate those infidels!
Geesyare: I am sorry, Al-Hajj, if I offended you. I forget that we are all pretending to be Al-shiukh wa Ah-Lul Sucad. But the reason why I called you is to inform you of my candidacy before I declare it to the public?
Qaatinweyne: What candidacy?
Geesyare: I am running for President!
Qaatinweyne: Are you kidding? Did you forget about Aden Madobe? He is the president, and it is our turn now. So I am warning you; we are determined to run the country this time and nobody will take that away from us.
Haarole: Mr. Gheesyare, why do you want this position? Don’t you think your old position was much better than this phony presidential title? I thought you were calling us about the strategy of reclaiming our old sbarrooyin, the roadblocks, or develop a new one... I really missed that, don't you Mr. Dhuubow?
Dhuubow: No doubt, we all miss the good old days when we were pouring the US Dollars into grain sacks. Just compare the couple of thousand dollars that the UdNp pays us as salary, “if they pay” and the hundreds of thousands of dollars, with no accountability, that we were getting from the roadblocks?
Yaleh: We lost more than just the US Dollars. Did you forget about the fame and the honor we had among our clans and in East Africa as whole? Our names were always on the daily news, and now people doubt that we are even alive.
Geesyare: Precisely! That is why I am sharing my plan with you. I want to give you an opportunity to have a much bigger roadblock than you have ever dreamt of. Think about the Presidency...it is the largest roadblock position that one can envision. So you must help me on my campaign.
Yaleh: So, what is in it for us? Are we going to be sharing in this “big roadblock” you call the presidency?
Haarole: Gentlemen, among us I am the one who was overseeing the largest roadblocks, which consisted of streets, marketplaces, airports, and seaport. And I don't foresee the possibility of reclaiming all these in the near future; we are facing fanatics who don’t share the same noble clannish mentality and they have no desire to negotiate the division of the roadblock spots. Therefore, I am thinking to develop a new relatively smaller roadblock near the Ethiopian border, so my Ethiopian brothers will help me incase these fanatics raid it.
Yaleh: Brother Geesyare, I did not forget about your friendship, but there is only one chair on the floor. And on top of that, if Abdullahi could not save Mohamed Dhere's roadblocks, how can we expect anything from you?
Dhuubow: Among all of us I am the most urbanized and sophisticated man, yet I am a very practical man. It seems we are done with the Somali affairs, so I am warning you, if we don't play with a low profile, we may pay a big price. When we were driven out of Mogadishu in June 2006 by the Islamic Courts Union, they were few and ill prepared. Imagine how they are now, with the combination of Al-Shabaab and the two years of fighting experience against the Ethiopians. We can't even face them for half an hour, and above all the core of Al-Shabab are our own mooryan, thugs. So brothers if our names rise again or surface on the news, these fanatics may hunt us down.
Geesyare: We were all warlords, then we became Cabinet Ministers, so what makes you think you are more sophisticated and urbanized than us?
Dhuubow: Before that, what were you doing when I was working in my uncle’s garage as a skilled mechanic in downtown Mogadishu? You were all rer-baadiye living in the countryside as camel boys!!!
Haroole: Including Qaatiweyne?
Axado Jamcaale and Dahabo Cilmi heard the conversation of these men while they were serving them tea and soft drinks. The two ladies retreated into the kitchen wondering what the Somali leaders were talking about.
Dahabo: Did you hear what Dhuubow was saying? God! No wonder this country is doomed. A garage boy is the most educated and sophisticated man among Somali leaders in this 21st century?
Axado: Why did Somalia get stuck with men like these? Where are the real politicians, diplomats, and the intellectuals of this country? Are they in hibernation or what?
Axado: No, Ethiopia helped to prevent those groups from coming around and participating in the national reconciliation conferences. And they avoided all the viable programs which could end the Somali crises.
Daxabo: Why does Ethiopia want these particular men? Do they want to give opportunities to only these old men who were 4th grade drop outs, lorry drivers, or ones that enlisted as private soldiers who become colonels?
Axado: Do you want the plain truth?
Dahxbo: Yes, please!
Axado: Ethiopia does not want strong leaders who are really looking out for our country’s best interest. They only want incompetent people, who will continue this predicament that Somali is in, until we are all gone.
Dahabo: I thought that the Ethiopia of today is no longer the one we knew in the past. Haven’t we now turned into two brotherly neighboring countries that help each other?
Axado: That is the core of our weakness. We assume things without examining the characteristic of Ethiopia’s past endeavors, and how they have been involved in our affairs for the last two decades.
While the two ladies were chatting in the kitchen the ex-warlords continued their discussion.
Qaatinweyne: Ok well, let us move on to another subject. I heard some information about Mohamed Dhere because the new President asked me to investigate his case. I was told that the Ethiopians took him from his residence to protect him from the fanatics, who were killing government officials and our Ethiopian brothers. They were pretending as if they were putting him in prison, but he is still getting his daily 10 kilos of Khat (narcotics).
Yaleh: Why did the new president delegate you to that job? Are you the Minister of Interior or the Chief of Police?
Haroole: He is related to the new President that’s why. I understand the situation he is in because I have been in that position too.
Geesyare: Well, I have heard different versions from that. Mohamed Dhere's imprisonment is real and the Ethiopians are hunting down all those who have been abusing Somalis.
Yaleh: What? No, they are the abusers of all the abusers!
Qaatinweyne: Are they hunting down those who did the abusing for the last four years, or are they stretching it to the last 20 years and beyond?
Geesyare: I don’t know. They can blame us for the crimes committed by their officers if they want to. And that is why I want to be elected as president, so we will all be safe from the accusations made by the Ethiopians.
Yaleh: I don't think you can save yourself or me. You have seen what the Ethiopians did to Abdullahi, the man who was serving them for the last 30 years. And where is Mohamed Dhere, who was smashing the heads of his relatives to show off his loyalty? Ethiopians have already recruited new people and they dumped us. The tragedy is that we never checked how they, whom we’ve called our bosses, treated their former servants.
While the warlords were discussing their future, the advisors of Mr. Zirrow were discussing their new plan. This time Mr. Asfayum was also present at the meeting.
Ketema: Mr. Minister we want to present the plan that you have requested. If you have any questions, we are ready to answer them.
Zirrow: Hmmm....this is very big report. Do you expect me to read all of this?
Feleke: Yes Sir, we expect exactly that because we have not slept in our houses for the last two weeks working on this report. The future of Ethiopia is at stake so please read it, page by page.
Ketema: Mr. Minister you can just read the summary page and it will tell you about the important points. All the politicians of the world, including US Senators, read the content pages because nobody in such a position has time to read a 400 page documents.
Feleke: That is why this world is a mess, because they pass bills that they have not even read. Who knows what other people might sneak into these documents that become law.
Zirrow: What is wrong with this guy? Is he drunk?
Yilma: Sorry, Mr. Minister he is always intoxicated with excitement when he does something extraordinary, so that tells you how good this report really is.
Tesfaye: Mr. Minister, as you can see we divided Somalia into three eras: Somalia of yesterday, Somalia of today, and Somalia of tomorrow. Yesterday has gone as smoothly as we had previously planned. The aim of that plan was to cease Somalia’s statehood and to not be accountable for any crimes committed in Somalia during our “sponsorship” directly or indirectly. Thus, we are holding the responsibility onto the warlords listed on page 39. We followed your footpath and it is very interesting how you made the clannish warlords fight each other, and how they began holding their clan based relationships above national statehood. So we pursued the same methods to arm and support religious factions. The clans are exhausted from the fighting and they have understood the reality on the ground, making them more willing to pursue peace. Therefore, we put out the clan leaders and we have brought in the religious factions, who are highly motivated to die for their cause. In conclusion your old plan was clan contra clan, which was aimed to ruin the foundation of the Somali statehood, while our new plan is based on sect contra sect to wipe out the nationhood of Somalia.
Ketema: Mr. Minister, a religious conflict is more effective and destructive than the clannish one.
Zirrow: This looks good. But, don’t you think this criminal list on page 39 would backfire on us? The newly hired individuals may think twice to work for us against their nation. I mean, how will they trust us when they can see that we have criminalized the warlords who were implementing the jobs that we handed over to them?
Ketema: Don’t worry Mr. Minister! They would not look at what we have done in the past and relate it to them or their colleagues. Look ...who was demanding our military intervention for almost two years, and who was advocating for us while we were fulfilling our mission in Mogadishu?
Zirrow: Abdullahi, Ghedi, Jelle, Gacmadhere, Mohamed Dhere and so forth.
Ketema: Well, sometimes I wonder if the memory part of the Somali brain is either damaged or not connected properly. Apparently, it does not matter if you use them first and incriminate them on the acts you requested them to execute. And the best part of it all is that they don't think twice about your orders, even while repeatedly humiliating them. Take for example Mr. Abdullahi. Did he ever think about all the damage we could have caused him and Somalia when he was begging us to provide about 30,000 troops from our army? According to what we have done to him in the past, a normal person would have never passed Addis Ababa even on transit, let alone stand at the presidential palace and salute the Ethiopian officers who were mistreating him in Alambakha. Also about Ghedi, Jelle etc. while we were destroying their birthplace they were aligned with us. And with all the disgraceful things we did to him, if you were to call Mr. Ghedi today and ask him to obliterate what is left standing in Mogadishu, he would gladly execute it, as long as we grant him some kind of title.
Feleke: Mr. Minister that behavior is not isolated to these men. The Somali leaders are all alike from Hargheysa to Kismayo, thanks to Mr. Abdullahi.
Zirrow: Regarding the list on page 39, I think it is immoral to accuse someone of committing terrible acts that you in fact requested be done.
Ketema: Well, in politics there is no morality and no permanent friendships.
Zirrow: What about our Military in Somali? Remember, I promised that we would withdraw from Somalia during the first week of January?
Yilma: Mr. Minister, we have a layout of that on page 139 to 239, and it contains everything regarding our victorious military departure from Somalia. If you take a glimpse at page 189 you can see that we arranged limited but highly trained units to stay behind to help arm the extremists who we intend to replace the old warlords with. Also you will see that page 209 is about the mechanized units and their equipment, which we aim to be stationed in Barbara, Somaliland.
Asfayum: To be Stationed in Somaliland! How would it be possible to convince the Somalilanders to receive the combat vehicles and tanks which flattened Mogadishu?
Yilma: The Minister has already negotiated with the top leaders for allowing us the disembarkation of our heavy military machines at Barbara Seaport. Once the units reach the Barbara port we will delay the movement of the trucks for months, which are supposed to carry the tanks. Meanwhile, we will develop new ideas and tricks to stay there and have a permanent military base in Barbara.
Asfayum: Like what?
Ketema: We were sorting out the new leaders for Somaliland, and our first choice is Mr. Warabe. He would not mind if we stationed half of our army in Somaliland.
Asfayum: Are you kidding? Warabe, is your first choice?
Ketema: No, we are seeking those who will work the best for us. Do you remember his statement? He said, “In every aspect, I am closer to the boy who was born in Addis Ababa than the boy who was born in Mogadishu”
Asfayum: I don't care what he said, but do you really believe that the people in Somaliland would elect Warabe with all the heavy weight politicians who are campaigning? Don't waste the tax payers’ money, please.
Ketema: Sir, there is an Amharic saying: You will see the things you always get scared of and he who you despise may take over your inheritance. Look at Abdullahi he undermined Nur Adde!
Feleke: Or Bush! And how the American people elected him twice instead of Al Gore and John Kerry?
Ketema: Well said Feleke. And I would add that unlike Americans, who are very sorry about the damages caused by baby Bush to their country, we will be delighted for any damage caused by this guy to his country.
Zirrow: What about Puntland's election?
Ketema: Our first choice is Ilkajiir. We do not know much about him, but when we examined the three men that Abdullahi recommended, we preferred him on top of the other two. And after all, he is a military officer like Abdullahi, Nur Adde, Riyale and Adde Muse, who can easily take orders without question.
Asfayum: So, what happens if Warabe and Ilkajiir lose the elections?
Ketema: In general, nothing will change our programs, but I was talking about the preference of the individuals. If the worst comes, we can easily remove anybody that we don't like and sooner or later, someone that we want will be in power. Remember four years ago when we were selecting the top TFG positions in Nairobi, Mr. Aden Madobe was our first choice as speaker of the parliament, but we did not succeed. Now, who is the speaker? Mr. Madobe, I rest my case.
Asfayum: What if the Somaliland people pressure their leaders to dismantle our base in Barbara after we have spent so much money?
Ketema: Good question! First, the UN resolution that you participated in last week authorizes all nations of the world to go after the Somali pirates. Thanks to your friend Ahmed for this permission to hunt down any suspected Somali as a pirate. Therefore, it can be explained that our commando units are fulfilling the UN resolution. Secondly, every week, thousands of tons of Ethiopian goods are docked on Barbara port facility, and the military units are protecting our goods. And knowing what has happened in our embassy in Hargheysa, it is obvious that we must defend our property at that port. See, we have all the right explanations!
Zirrow: I am very proud of your dedication and the clear programs you presented here today. Well done. Let us continue with these plans and meet again next Saturday.
Feleke: Mr. Minister before you end the meeting, I would like to raise an idea which has been boiling in my brain for the last two days.
Zirrow: If this is so, you must address it quickly before your brain explodes...haha.
Feleke: Mr. Minister my idea is to build the biggest monument in the heart of Addis Ababa for a particular Somali man, who gave us the opportunity which our ancestors could not achieve for the last five centuries. I am sure you will agree with me when I reveal the identity of the gentleman, and I'll present this to you as soon as I finish the details of the statue.
Zirrow: Hahaha … Ok Feleke, we shall discuss this more then. And now the meeting is officially adjourned.
................................To be continued Part V
Abdulkadir Aden Mohamud "Jangeli"
E-mail: [email protected]