The literature you are about to read is divided into several parts. Its contents are based on facts and fictions. The main players are Ethiopians and Somalis.
President: Hmmm... It’s not bad to have men who can do multi-task. Now, what do you think about the Prime Minister?
Inspector Raaye: When you appointed this man as Prime Minister I thought that you were previously his superior officer. Therefore, unlike the preceding Prime Minister, I thought that he would have taken your orders without question. Now, we find out that he is a bad and stubborn man and he must go.
President: Do you all agree with that?
Lieutenant Libah: Yes sir, yes. We have been discussing this matter all week. We were wondering what has made you so soft these days for keeping this man around. With all the favors you have done for him, he does not deserve to be in your office any longer.
President: Well, did you check the charter for the article which allows me to exercise my power of dismissal.
Inspector Raaye: Mr. President, you can just read the same articles that you appointed him with.
President: That article is only for the appointment, not for the dismissal.
Lieutenant Libah: Mr. President, in Africa all you need to read are any numbers like Article 13, section 23b or gibberish numbers and it’s done. Nobody will check or find this article and if any body challenges your contention you fire that person too.
President: How about the parliament? What if they disagree with my actions?
Sergeant Bile: I am sure the parliamentarians did not forget your statement from the day you were elected as President. You made it clear to the whole world that unlike Abdiqassim, you would not be like a sitting duck, but like a tsunami that would sweep the strong men into the Indian Ocean. Remember, you graduated from the white Soviet officers’ college not Lumumba University, which is designated for Africans. Therefore, you don't take capriciousness from anybody. Your are the law and only you are in charge for this nation's destiny, period! If the parliament has the courage to disagree with your wishes, then you will dismiss them all too.
President: Then what?
Lieutenant Libah: Then we will select new parliament members who will be very loyal to you.
President: That requires a lot of financial resources.
Inspector Raaye: Mr. President did you forget about the Bosaso seaport authority?
President: Hmmm… During my last visit in Bosaso, they were all very troubled because the policemen and the government employees had been unpaid for the last ten months. We had spent their salaries on these crooks, “MP”, and they still want more money.
Lieutenant Libah: Mr. President, once you make the first move, everybody will hide. Tomorrow you have to dismiss the Prime Minister and pick a new man to fill the position. And this time your choice must be a tested, loyal man who will never disagree with you.
President: Thank you. You are not only good solders, but you are good politicians too. Which school did you graduate from?
Inspector Raaye: Dhiidiyo-Waraab School ..hahahaha
Lieutenant Libah: Sir, I am a military tactician and the formula is the same whether you’re dealing with the military or politics.
President: What about IGAD? The Prime Minister and I signed a document along with all the heads of IGAD states. This document, if I am not wrong, gives the Prime Minister all the executive powers. Also we have to consent with the outcome of the Djibouti reconciliation conference. If any member of the TFG does not comply with what is written on that document, IGAD will freeze their assets and put traveling sanctions on them. I cannot afford to loose the ability to be flown because as you know, I need to travel periodically for my medical check ups.
Lieutenant Olaad: Sir, I wish they would have put us on this sanction a long time ago because we would have bought our own presidential jet airplane. I am still angry with how the Ethiopians tried to humiliate you when they put Mr. Riyal on the same airline as you when you were traveling to London. Like any other President we must have our own airplane, and then we can travel to London one day, and then to Paris the next day. As far as the asset freezing, don’t worry about it. They have just heard about the western countries threatening financially wealthy, but militarily weak dictators with freezing their assets if they don’t behave. However, they are very naive. First, you don’t have fixed assets in their countries. Secondly, if they take our printing machine we will buy another one from Asia, so its no big deal.
While the President was consulting with his advisors for the next political maneuvers, the Prime Minister was lobbying in the parliament, and on December 15th he met the Speaker at his home:
Prime Minister: Mr. Speaker, first of all, I admire your courage and I would like to congratulate you in advance for your future position in the TFG. Secondly, we don't have time to spare, so please call the assembly together for the approval of my new cabinets. On Tuesday, I am traveling to Nairobi so I need the vote of confidence before my trip.
Speaker: Did they tell you?
Prime Minister: Of course. Don't you know that I am continuously in contact with Addis Ababa, especially with Mr. Asfayum.
Speaker: Did he inform you of the whole plan or did he give you just a bit of information?
Prime Minister: Mr. Asfayum and I don't have reservations for anything. I am the main architect of “the” plan, but it is conditioned on how you implement the vote of confidence for my new government.
Again, while the top TFG members were plotting in Baydhabo on how they were about to destroy each other, the Ethiopians were planning their burial plot. On this same day, the new advisors of Mr. Zirrow met secretly with Mr. Asfayum.
Yilma: Mr. Asfayum, we came here to get some advise from you regarding the Somali issues.
Asfayum: I believe Dr. Ketema is the most knowledgeable advisor on Somali affairs, so I don't understand why you are here.
Feleke: Mr. Asfayum cut the BS. We all know what is between you and Mr. Zirrow.
You want a new Somali breed that can carry out our policies towards Somalia and Mr. Zirrow is stuck with old guys who can't function any more.
Ketema: Mr. Asfayum, what has been happening in Somalia for these past weeks proves your claims regarding the top leader of Somalia. I am sure Mr. Zirrow will agree with you before you go to Adwa. Now, we want to have the list of the new breed who will act on our behalf for the destruction of what remains of Somalia.
Asfayum: Yes, now I can trust you! Mr. Zirrow forgot that in politics there is no permanent friendship, but permanent interest. We have been milking this old man for the past 30 years and he has done more than his job, so he has to retire now.
Feleke: Who do you have in mind to replace him?
Asfayum: The days of the military muscle are over so we need to recruit a charismatic or religiously respected men. Also, we have to consider the clan affiliations. Therefore, my first choice for the top ticket is the DP Mr. Ahmed, but there are some other “good guys” too, like Sheikh Ahmed and Aden.
Ketema: Thank you, Mr. Asfayam. In fact, Mr. Zirrow is waiting for a plan from us. This is the plan for us to run Somalia in the next 20 years so do you believe that these gentlemen are the best men for the job?
Asfayum: Absolutely, they are the best men for the continuation of our plan…
.....................To be continued Part III
Abdulakdir Aden Mohamud “Jangeli”
E-mail: [email protected]